Taking a Break from “Mom Guilt”

Mom guilt is something all moms inevitably experience at some point during their motherhood journey. It’s that feeling of not being good enough as a mother or not doing enough for our kids. We start to feel that every moment not about our kids is selfish. Mom guilt can sometimes keep us from taking the time to care for ourselves and refilling our own cups.  Our cups need to be refilled from time to time, especially when they’re completely empty.  You can’t pour much from an empty cup.

It’s essential to occasionally push aside that mom guilt and take some time for ourselves to refill our own cups.   I do this every year when I book my ticket to Mexico to escape to my annual mom’s weekend.

Six years ago some of us moms met up in Mexico to celebrate my cousin’s 40th birthday. We began to experience something quite odd… relaxation. It was then we realized that we really needed to start taking more time for ourselves. This stolen time wasn’t selfish, it was self-care.  We were having so much fun during her birthday trip that we thought, why not do something like this every year?  After a few “Could we really get away with this” moments, we committed! Reflecting on the past six years, it turns out, yes, we can get away with it!

We pretty much visit the same resort, Royal Hideaway, in Playa Del Carmen each and every year.  The Royal Hideaway is a small, adults-only,  plantation-style resort with less than 200 rooms.  We love it because, well first off, it is where we had that “ah-hah” moment. More so, it’s a place to go to relax and do absolutely nothing, and nothing is exactly what I want when I’m needing to refill my cup.  I’m at that age where I’m not looking to party or be in the center of the action.  I am looking to just lay there, read a book, and drink a piña colada… not that I’d ever shy away from a good party! You can’t undo who you are at your core, after all! I just prefer to avoid places where partying is the focus of the experience.

Honestly, doing nothing kind of puts my mom guilt even more at ease by knowing that I’m not doing anything that my kids are missing out on.  I mean, they’d be bored to tears sitting by a pool just relaxing. I usually face-time with them daily while I am gone. I see them happy and enjoying their time with their dad. They see me as happy and relaxed… something a bit foreign to them. We’ve all learned that a little separation from time to time is quite healthy for all of us.

I do have to throw some credit my husband’s way. He’s always eager to happily push me out the door and take over my “mom” duties for the weekend. He’s also the one who sometimes convinces me to still go when mom guilt is rearing its ugly head. Now that I think about it, he is a little too excited to see me go! Kidding aside, he knows that when I go off to relax, I will return with my cup runneth over, and we all know that you get more from a full cup than an empty one.  Does mom guilt ever stop you from taking time for yourself?